Fuck gluten, get money.

Oh hey check it out, my blogs first rant…given my nature I am surprised it took this long but hope you all enjoy it.

A year and a half ago I began to have some sincerely shitty problems, which I mean in both the literal sense and the figurative sense. My stomach hurt, my bowels hurt, my whole GI tract was on fire…a gurgling time bomb. And in turn it prompted, several trips the hospital and a awful endoscopy/colonoscopy with a biopsy to boot which left me with a disconcerting answer: celiac disease. It has been mentioned before, but to be honest I was aiming for colitis. Despite my Scottish last name, I come from an Italian family with a sincere love of pasta and the Stampedes famous mini donuts. With that biopsy I was handed a fresh pile of shit that at first stunk worse than its fathers that came before it.

However, I did right by my body and cut my old love affair out. I said goodbye to Ben and Jerry’s, half baked pints of ice cream, those pilsbury christmas sugar cookies with the Santa Clauses’ stamped on them, and real beer. However what I did not expect after doing so was to be so poor, I cut out one pain in the ass and inherited another.

My pet peeves about having a disease that I have no choice in the matter of,

1. paying 7.99 for a loaf of bread

2. Paying 10.99 for three cups of baking flour

3. Having to pay up charges  of 2.00-5.00 dollars at restaurants because I have to have the gluten-free bun or pizza crust.

4. Have I mentioned how much I loathe paying 7.99 for a fucking loaf of bread?

But alas, these are my miladies. I am bound by the gluten-free gods at Bobs Red Mill, Udis and Glutino and the fine establishments of my city to pay prices that to me seem unnatural. How is it I can go to Costco, buy a 15 pound bag of rice flour for 7.99 but when I buy a loaf of bread made with rice flour it is costing me the same price? Yes I could make 15 loaves for that price myself but I am a modern day woman with a full time job, a dog, friends and a kick ass blog. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Myself, and many other celiacs feel the pressure of being able to afford their food. And I can safely say that most of us feel like we are being penalized for a crime we did not commit. And I love my local proprietors and the fact that they went the extra mile to offer us poor celiac bastards some gluten-free loving on their menus and I realize that their up charges are a result of the fact that their suppliers are over charging them but it still sucks somedays. Hell, we all know it is not their faults and much like us they answer to the corporate jerks over charging for their products.

I know a lot of people who just avoid Calgary’s amazing restaurant scene because its too expensive to eat at them. Some say “its just three bucks who cares?” (moi, most of the time) but in a world where we are forced to eat to a certain kind of food for the sake of our bodies and longevity should we really have to say “its only an extra three bucks?” I am beginning to think not.

I believe some of these gluten-free companies, need to remember who they opened their doors for and why. And maybe need to reconsider their gluten-free morals pre-getting stinky filthy rich off their outrageously priced breads, cookies and crackers. The day they do, we celiacs will reap the benefits and will live our lives with full tummies, satisfied taste buds and some money left over in our wallets to dedicate to something other than our anti-gluten-obsessed lives.




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